6 Things To Tell Yourself When Perfectionism Gets In The Way of Writing

When perfectionism creeps in, and motivation drops, getting yourself to write can be really difficult. When you procrastinate, it can make you feel like you’re miles away from your goals. Here is a list of 6 things to tell yourself when perfectionism gets in the way of writing to get you back on track.

1. You are allowed to suck. In fact, you must.

Why am I telling you to tell yourself this? Because, as is common with perfectionism, the fear of failing stops us from writing. So, this statement is meant to help you change your perspective around failure. Not only are you allowing yourself to be “bad” at writing, you are telling yourself that you must be bad. When you challenge yourself to be bad, often it helps relieve the tension and fear around sucking. So, next time those judgmental thoughts show up, remind yourself that you’re allowed to be exactly those things. Those thoughts will soon leave you alone.

2. Writing is a process that starts with trash and ends with treasure

Writing is a process. It starts in the mind with images, feelings, words, and ideas. It ends, hopefully, on paper, as a cohesively-shaped story. The truth is that anything we come up with will be mired in things we’ve already seen or heard—good or bad. They’ll also be disjointed thoughts, concepts and ideas. The process begins with taking all of these ideas and concepts from your mind and dumping them on paper (first draft)—which, will usually be a mess. After that it’s about digging through them to find gems, and then using technique to put it all together into a story you’re proud of. Therefore, remind yourself that it is a process and that the more you practice writing stories the better you’ll get at it over time.

3. You decide what your relationship to writing is. No one else does.

Perfectionism around writing can also be influenced by the thoughts and beliefs we’ve been taught about writing and our relationship to it. I have come across a lot of writing quotes and advice that more or less tell you what writing should be like for writers. Some say you should merely be the messenger of the story that has been sent to your mind, while others will tell you should tell the story that is in your heart. Or they’ll say things like “If you wait for inspiration, then you’re not a writer”, or that you’re a writer if you simply write. While these quotes may be inspiring, they can also reinforce perfectionism. In the end, no one defines YOUR relationship to writing. You decide what storytelling is for you and what that process is like for you—and guess what? That still makes you a writer. Do you want to tell stories because you want to entertain, or to explore philosophical concepts on society? Do you write to live in the fictional settings in your mind, or because you love your characters? You decide.

4. Let go of trying to be original, unique or appealing to the world

Besides telling yourself that you are allowed to suck, you can also tell yourself that you’re allowed to not be original or unique. This is one of the main things I struggle with as a writer. You want to be original and unique and you want to appeal to many people, but the truth is, that’s unrealistic. Firstly, nothing is truly original, and usually what makes your work unique is how you tell your story. Secondly, you don’t get to decide who will like your work. The likely scenario is that you’ll find a niche audience who will like your stuff, and that’s great. So don’t get bogged down with trying to be “original”, “appealing” or the “best”. Usually these words mean you’re holding yourself to some illusive standard that is difficult to meet and unrealistic to who you are. Start by writing about the things that interest you and go from there.

5. One step at a time, little, by little, until I get to the end.

To paraphrase: 10 words make a sentence, 50 words make a paragraph, 500 words make a page and 300 pages make a manuscript. Writing a short story or a novel may seem daunting—especially for a perfectionist, but when you break it down into little tasks, getting through it makes it much easier. So, tell yourself to take the process one step at a time. Write little by little each day, and before you know it, you’ve written your story.

6. Just do it

I know it’s cliche, but just doing what you have to do is a major way to get things done even if perfectionism is killing your motivation. Perfectionism is insidious because it manifests in negative thoughts and avoidant behaviors. So, you have to tell yourself that you have to do it, or else it won’t get done. These negative thoughts will come up, and even though they’ll make you want to stay in bed watching youtube videos, you need to tell yourself “Nope. I still have to do it” and then get up and do it. That’s the difference between motivation and procrastination.

Fighting Back

To fight perfectionism and procrastination, imagine fear is your antagonist. It wants to stop you from achieving your goals because it just wants to protect you from pain. In order to face an antagonist, you need to fight back. So, fight back by telling yourself these six things as they’re sure to weaken those perfectionist thoughts and beliefs. Good luck fellow writer!

If you used any of these techniques to challenge perfectionism and procrastination, tell me about it in the comments below!

Hi! Shantal here. I’m a writer and a storyteller. I created Shantal Writes to share my experiences with writing fiction. I also provide new writers with tips, tools, and writing advice. I hope you find something helpful while you’re here!